moving on...

...blogspot is cool, but wordpress has all these cool functions i don't even know aobut so i've moved on, please visit my new blog at www.nepaliketi.wordpress.com

thank you!

prachanda = the fierce one

yesterday i had the opportunity to hear prachanda, the fierce one himself, speak for himself. a friend from high school has been working at the asia society and very graciously offered to get me complimentary tickets. it was more than just a nice gesture, because as i came to find out the event was full of the nepali delegate (they took two or three of the 12/13 tables), diplomats, development workers, businesspeople, journalists, students...and common-folk like a la moi! as we waited for the speakers to arrive we excitedly ate our breakfast (on a side note, scrambled eggs, my favorite!!).

the event was (appropriately, i thought) entitled "a new nepal: challenges for ensuring peace and democracy". i sat there quite excited to see him and as an effect, chatty (fine, "more" chatty than usual). the guy next to me was a sri lankan journalist with the sri lanka democracy forum so we obviously talked about democracy and south asia...the guy to my left was with the UN and the one next to him with ICG (i told him how much i read up their reports at work). i was excited and borderline giddy to see the man, but as soon as he walked in i became just a little bit numb. here was the man i had read about since i started to anything serious. the same man i had written about in papers throughout college. the man whose name had splashed across papers in nepal and eventually all over the world. the man who made the name of my country synonymous with war... even if he has, thus far in his first visit to the US, supposedly been "awesome in america"

tamrat samuel, deputy head of UNMIN addressed prachanda as "his excellency" and "the honorable" as he introduced him to us. i leaned across the table for a croissant to watch prachanda chat in the front table with his delegate and smile and nod in agreement as samuel listed off his record...MPA from TU, USAID worker in 1974 (did not know of that!)and the climb he made from a teacher in gorkha to supreme commander of the people's liberation army and finally to becoming the first maoist prime minister of the now federal democratic republic of nepal. (gosh, that's a mouthful).

prachanda then stood up on and walk to the podium. he started by exclaiming how very happy he was to be there and see all of us and even went so far as to claim that "it was like a sweet dream". as most communist speakers, he was a good one, but that might be expected...isn't charisma crucial to becoming a communist leader? my friend wasn't impressed and thought him perhaps too commanding. but, i was pleasantly surprised to witness just how much spoke with authority. he spooke with an accented english and beautifully perfecl syntax(missing, even in most of nepal's best publications). there was the expected maoist rhetoric ...of "fighing the oppressive feudal system". exclamation. exclamation. exclamation. ...of the neccessary and succesful "revolution" etc.

however, he also was appeasing the crowd.

somewhere between being impressed and excited to see him, my excitement of being in the same room as the prime minister turned into (what my sociology professor would deem "raw")anger. here was the man responsible for the death of 13,000 and the destruction of a nation. here was the man who had given so much trouble and grief to my countrymen. while claiming to fight for the poor and oppressed, he had brutally fought the poor and oppressed. i was angry and didn't really know enough to explain how or why. i kind of wanted to scream (like you do when you walk into the daunting and beyond quiet halls of libraries), but not just for the fun of it. completely aware of not knowing enough while cussing my liberal arts degree which left me with no opinion, but the useless art to perpetually pose as the devil's advocate, i bit my lip and listened.

after repeating the phrase "sweet dream" more than three times he proceeded to present us with his "remarks". challenges to ensuring peace and democracy in nepal may have been the topic, but not much of prachanda's remarks actually alluded to peace and democracy. [there was an event hosted by the woodrow wilson center for international scholars where a panel of five spoke more about it, it seemed. that even was titled: Understanding Nepal's Transition: From Constitution Writing to Nation Building...and if you care at all you can hear two questions(about politically charged youth and the absence of a reconciliation commission in nepal (as it must and has been formed in about 25 other country at the conclusion of a war) i asked and the responses following =] anyway, prachanda laid the three primary maobadi plans:

1. draft the new constitution
2. lead the peace process
3. strive for socio-economic transformation

[i'll leave you to form your own comments regarding the three objectives]

he applauded himself and his party for transforming the central government into a federal and inclusive one. his words rang (hopefully) true, of the plan of "unleashing economic resources...by utilizing the private sector". our economic resources, according to him, being water (for hydroelectricity with the presence of FDIs), natural beauty (for tourism)original, i know) etc...and throughout his speech was the not-so-subtle urge for the western worlds, as well as china and india, to support nepal as it continues to form government and develop (i assume, both politically and economically).

after his twenty minutes or so of the above, he joined tamrat samual on the couch and samuel began to take questions from the floor. the first to ask was a textile importer who began by agreeing that feudalism needed to be crushed in nepal and then immediately challenged the threats/murders/etc misdeeds that the maoists were responsible for. prachanda planted a semi-stiff, semi-awkward smile and thoughtfully looked at her. i was eager to hear his response, but he brushed off this poignant question by claiming "there are always a few excesses with revolutions". oh right.

a question was wasted by a carpet importer who offered her congratulation and then her support in ensuring nepal produces top quality carpets. obviously, prachanda was happy to hear this. a man asked about the nepali communists party's seemingly ironic agenda to push for trade and investments. prachanda provided a sound response, claiming there was a gross misunderstanding as to what the maoists are about. an AFP reporter asked about his visit earlier that day (or the day before) with bush and america's tab on his party as terrorists. prachanda once again gave a good response, focusing instead on how far they had come and how they had "entered a new era". since this event was webcast live a westerner emailed in asked about prachanda having visited china and india and the relations he hoped to form. this was when prachanda talked of the possibility of recruiting tourists in lhasa and india to make an additional trip to nepal as well and when he urged the two to support the case of nepal. finally i got a chance to ask a question and i asked about practical steps he envisioned to "unleashed economic resources" when our labor sector was as uneducated and unskilled and didn't carry a comparative advantage. he said that just last week they had worked on a policy and budgeting regarding that. hmmmmm. another email question came in from a nepali about the misdeeds (i think, my notes are really fuzzy right on this one) and that included the event.

all in all, i was impressed with prachanda and how person-able he was - he left the room waving and smiling, shouting "thank you! see you soon!" of course his answers hardly ever was actually a response, but clearly he had graduated to being a politician - using each response period to deviate and urge his case (which today happened to be asking for the world to support nepal). but somewhere in the back of my mind i couldn't ignore the discomfort of having the agitator of nepal's blood soaked ten years as our new head of state.

in prachanda's first address at his first un general assembly he tells ban ki moon "[the nepalese people] voted in favor of change and transformation that my own party had fought for so many years...our agenda now is to bring about equally historic socio-economic transformation of our country". let's see how much we fix our past(a nepali reconciliation commission anyone?), learn from our mistakes, not get lost in the same delight of being in power and transform our country...

[if you really want to ponder the challenges facing nepal today, have a look at the event hosted by USIP entitled "Nepal: En route to Peace and Development", where bhutanese refugees, tibetans, oil/fuel, food, endemic poverty and long run constitutional issues are presented as just a few]

garba lagne = to be proud

nepalis are proud people. just read this this poem that I found on a group on facebook, you have to scroll a bit but it started with "my nepali pride, i will not hide, my nepali race i will not disgrace..." it's a pretty interesting poem. it pretty much screams that we nepalis are that we are proud to be nepalis. but it barely gives a reason. then again, it might be because the reason we are so proud to be nepalis are fairly obvious and embedded in two things.

one, the beauticious mt. everest which we have failed to market in our own language where it is known as sagarmatha.

two, the brave brave gurkha - prashant tamang, the popular ethnically nepali 'indian idol - 2007' even sings a song about them if you take the 4:24min to watch the slideshow you will maybe understand how i feel.

i'm quite aware of how unloved and unpopular this blog will make me amongst the nepali population in nepal and the nepali diaspora around the world since i have to date never heard a nepali say anything bad about the landscape or furkhas. but it is a thought i have thought much about and i think it's worth putting them out there. maybe some of you will think i am unpatriotic and some of you will deem me completely insensitive, but i cannot pretend to think different that i do.

so, here it goes. in my opinion, these two reasons are shit reasons to be proud of being a nepali. unlike most kids, i remember being embarssed about these things - while sutdying at an intenrational school in hong kong i didn't think there was much to take pride in....the mountains or the gurkhas. (there were plenty of britsh-army nepali serving in hong kong in the 1990s when i lived there as well so most people who lived in hong kong were aware of them). i remember that odd joke: a scientist is selling brains...and amidst the american, german, french, british, chinese, japanese and indian, the nepali one is the most expensive. you're probabaly wondering why since it's no secret how these western/developed countrymen have been so innovative and invented so much. when the customer asks in surprise how this is so, the scientist replies "oh, because it hasn't been used".

everyone used to laugh, but i never understood how that was really funny.

with that joke in mind, during a 2nd grade project where our homeroom teacher asked us to do an oral presentation explaining where we were from and talk about what about our home country made us so proud, i found myself stumped. i thought and thought with my 2nd grade mind about what nepal had contributed to mankind or at least what inventions we had come up with. finally, i asked my mom after school. and she said "oh, many things, we have contributed much to the world". i asked her what we invented and she told me about the greatest relgions that stemmed from our country. not bad, i thought...but i supposed i was looking for something more substantial.

my uncle said "oh, we have make the strongest paper in the world". lokta paper and products. great, i thought. i had classmates whose forefathers had invented bridges and telescopes and light itself and mine had the fine contribution of "strong" paper. (they really are strong and it's cool, but c'mon...that's what we have contributed so far?)

i was disappointd and have since been so. i especially hate it because nepalis always go on about how we have beautiful scenery, hills and mountains....oh our glorious mt. everest. no doubt they are amazing. but we seem to forget the people of nepal did nothing to put it there. we just inherited the land, the hills, the rivers and the mountains. they were just there. (this to me is a bit like someone who is already good at something and then very proud of it. in my opinion, someone who developed a skill, made an effort deserves praise much more). same deal with the mountains, we have done nothing for them. we were just there and yet this is our number one source of pride.

two, the gurkhas. i love the gurkhas. they loyalty and bravery is second to none. some say they are the world's best mercenaries. truly truly, what an accomplishment. being recognized as brage and loyal people is not a bad thing, and for this i am thankful. but i can't help thinking...it might be one thing if they gave their lives for their own country, but most would rather give it up for foreign countries, like india (where my own grandfather served) or more popularily, the UK. this bbc production makes me so sad. i watch it sometimes,it's done well and the british mean well, but it makes me sad to see so many men borderline desperate to join the british army. they get paid about ten times more then the nepali army. nepali men are willing to die for foreign lands because their own country is incapable of keeping them. killing people - not so sure if i admire it that much, but the point is, we have great soldiers and they are getting exported.

just like the women. strong, educated, able men leave the country to serve as gurkhas or businessmen in foreign countries. and pretty, uneducated girls get tricked into modern day slavery as prostitutes in brothels across india, the middle east and other foreign countries.

the point is: mount everest is nothing to be proud of. gurkhas are a bittersweet reason to be proud. i want to be from a country where we are proud of MAKING and CONTRIBUTING something to this world.i am 22 and already sick of being a nepali whose country constantly receives aid and worse, perpetually dependent on what it to function (if function can be used as the word here). i want to be from a country that is giving and helping people around the world. i don't mean to imply this isn't already happening. there are countless nepalis who have stayed on in the country to do something. and there are nepalis serving the world. there is a woman working in sudan as director of an NGO and there is a doctor volunteering in a somalian refugee camp in djibouti (his blog is interesting). you probabaly know many others as well.

i believe it is possible - in my lifetime - to be a country that is proud for real reasons. the mountains and the prestige of being a gurkha will be a mere bonus. i believe we are capable of being a country that not only grows to fend for itself, and stand on its own feet, but one that will provide aid to other countries give a hand as we currently do. i hope that i will see a nepal where nepalis are humble but smiling with pride to hail from a country that not only recieves, but also gives.

kaam nalagne = working not = useless

in the recent past I have met three very talented and passionate young men who i believe have already contributed much to the future of nepal.

two are heavily invested in the media sector - having written and produced paper and virtual renditions of images and notions sure to tap intellectual and alert minds.
the third is a social entrepreneur with big dreams and the capability to achieve them for economic progress he envisions.

none of them went to college.

(though the third one's claim is debatable - apathyisboring.com suggests he did) which makes me, the self-obsessed loser (in the words of a dear and wise friend), wonder what the point of college was - with all its fancy western rhetoric (which then naturally begs me to question its credibility to issues in the Nepali context, useless papers that will be never be published or ever read again, and the 1460(give or take a couple) days i spent in classes, lecture halls, library, computer labs.

i believe the total cost of my four years in college adds up to over $130, 000. thats' about euro 84,000 or nrs.8,700,000. $130, 000 could have done so much then give me a piece of paper that announces i have completed a bachelor of arts in international affairs (whatever that means).

i know some theories and arguments, but aside from that i cannot say i can justify all those thousands of dollars (granted my scholarship required all but like 5% of that amount, but you get the point).

and so, i look at the three guys i've met and am in awe of and wonder if my four years in collage was anything, but kaam nalagne. am i really equipped to do anything close to as of forceful impact as what they have done? i wish i were, but know i am not. they have the skills and determination and they will do it. it's a big embarrassing to be just a few years younger them in age and then decades behind in personal development and national contribution.

but, i wonder what i can do. i wonder what other young nepalis like myself (especially those who didn't just leave nepal after 12th grade, but those of us who have really grown up overseas) who are studying abroad or have studied abroad can really do. we often hear of the skills and knowledge that will make a difference "back home"...but i wonder if it really will. it seems as though i have learned formulas and models of development that will probably be rejected and deemed irrelevant to the case of nepal.

and it makes sense, forget having never explored the nepali notion of development (or "vikas), i am not even academic in my own language. i am not connected to nepalis as the "made in nepal" youth are. they are the one who are truly capable. they know the boundaries, needs and potential of nepal in a way i don't. i know it only in terms of childish dreams...wehreas they know it in reality.

if we want to do something for nepal is it really sensible to go "study abroad"?

it's crazy how popular and dominant a phenomena "study abroad" is in nepal...i swear one of every three signboards that plague the city of kathmandu advertises one agency or another's success rate in transferring the youth/talented of nepal to the us, uk, australia, canada, china, singapore....and cyprus. (no offense, but who in the world ever thought of cyprus as an academic destination?) regardless, i wonder what the use of all this will be.

at an ihs seminar i attended in june 2007, titled 'poverty and prosperity', be warned: a libertarian kenyan professor talked about "brain gain" - (as opposed to the conveniently embraced notion of "brain drain"). he suggested that quite aside from the remittances, the know-how, expertise and skills re-introduced to home countries were a net gain. doubtful as that may in general, i wonder about that in the context of nepal.

i hear nepal is somewhere in the number 13 or 16 or 19 in incoming number of international students to the us. craziness. in a country of 27 million, where over 50% are under 35 the "student" age is sure to prevail...but seriously, we are in the top twenty? what is the implication of this when you consider the words a hearing from house of representatives' committee on foreign affairs where congressman bill delahunt (D-MA) claims three perspectives of national interest.

in short, international students...

1. ...strengthen the US economy - spending over $13B and making education US's fifth largest export
2. ...gain skills to tackle and confront issues like poverty, similar issues on the agenda of the US as well as for "increased opportunities for trade and investment for the US"
3. ...create familiarity and bonds of mutual respect.

it continues to state that "having foreign students at American universities is one of the most powerful tools in our arsenal of public diplomacy" (pdf pg 8)...it then goes on to talk about how having foreign students help spread american values in a way that can't be done any other way and how international students respecting american values is a national interest in the US



haha....i realize how this paraphrasing of bits and pieces from the hearing makes it look like a meager attempt to make the US look like the bad guys. that's not my intention at all! i have greatly enjoyed my academic career as pursued here, but my concern is how much of this has been in the interest of nepal as i had previously assumed when i hopped off of cathay pacific as a freshman back in 2004?

perhaps i am a realist, or perhaps i am a globalist...either way, i doubt how useful us "global citizens" or "study abroad" students will be the the case OF nepal. if some of our intentions were to help nepal i wonder if we would have been better if we'd planted our butts at home and started to establish roots there, rather then here.

those three guys sure did and they've already made an impact.

sano desh = small country

Back in high school most papers I wrote started with my obligatory introduction , "Nepal is a small country sandwiched between the giant China and India". But, until today I had not nearly comprehended what I'd written. 'Small' to me described Nepal's physical stature, her geographic mass - which really is small(absolutely and relatively)...comparable to Florida or one of the Kiwi islands. Today though I got a taste of how small we actually are.

Last year in our senior sem, International Political Economy, a really good friend from Ghana and I had issues with conversations concerning the so called third world or underdeveloped nations or the global south or developing regions...because Nepal and Ghana were never once mentioned. China. India. China. India. China. India. (not to mention the same thing happening in my current international unit in DC. again). I'd always try to chip in a bit related to Nepal, but it made little difference to the conversation. I knew my efforts were futile, but I really knew it when my friend passed me a note one day in the middle of a discussion on Bretton Woods. It said "Hey Sradda, maybe your Nepal can apply to be the 52nd state of the US as the United States of Nepal and then you're have some say in IPE". Hilarious. I laughed at the time.

But, today the joke's poignant point was made. My main task at the embassy is to call up congressmen and senators to make an arrange for an appointment so that the ambassador can made courtesy calls. i've called the office of each member of the foreign affairs committe in congress and of the tweleve, managed to make two appointments. the calls were spread out over two weeks and two okays were okay with me. afterall, i was making the appointments for less then a week in advance and they've busy and all. but, yesterday i called every senator in their foreign affairs committee and not one, not one was "available".

At the embassy I was laughing and the assistant was telling me how it took her months to arrange for the ambassador of Nepal to meet some high level official and that she was used to it. And the first or second or third secretary told me how if we were the Chinese or India embassy we'd have no problem getting through but Nepal hardly makes a difference and so they'll take forever. I thought I'd be optimistic all the same an d continued to make those calls...but serious not ONE was able to make an appointment for me. Oh, forget me...but for the ambassador.

And, then I continued to smile because I, as a person felt small and I was upset but I didn't know how to express it to the Nepali at the embassy. I felt bad and came home. Nepal is a small country, but I don't want to feel small...Nepal, just as any nation in the world, has the potential to be a grand figure. The US ambassador to Nepal is like a celebrity, what he says and does and thinks is a big deal..whattheheck an EX-presidents opinions matter immensely in Nepal. I hate how small I felt today. I don't think it's anyone's fault...it's just how it is. But, I want to continue saying Nepal is a small country, but I want a certain impression of that word.